"On Golden Pond" at Midvale Main Street Theatre

Some of the most pleasant summers I’ve ever experienced were in Maine and there was nothing like watching Midvale Main Street Theatre’s production of “On Golden Pond” to capture those memories so perfectly, right down to the black fly references. If anyone can’t wait to take a summer trip to a lake house, I highly recommend making your way to Midvale for one or more of the five remaining performances on May 18, 19, 24, 25 and 26 at 7:00 PM. You early birds can catch a 2:00 PM matinee on Saturday May 19.

I’ve been attending productions at Midvale since 2010. The first was “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” which featured “On Golden Pond” director Eve Speer as Nurse Ratched and E. Timothy Schomburg as the unassuming Mr. Martini. I was very pleased to see Tim taking on the much more vociferous role of Norman Thayer Jr. and cracked up along with the rest of the audience at his take on the crotchety character. I also found myself very moved at times during those quiet moments where the stage is shared by just himself and Mary Scott Mason playing the role of his wife Ethel where Norman’s character reveals his more vulnerable side to the one person he trusts more than any other and who understands him best.

I felt at times that the story seems told more from Ethel’s point of view than anyone else’s; even when she wasn’t on stage. Seeing Norman alone with his wife offers context to the character that the other members of the family aren’t privy to, most importantly Norman and Ethel’s daughter Chelsea, played by Jennifer Mason and her fiance Bill—played by Marc Reading who last graced Midvale’s stage as prosecuting attorney Horace Gilmer in “To Kill a Mockingbird” also directed by Speer. Bill has only Chelsea’s biased recollections to prepare him to meet his future father-in-law.

Austin Heaton play’s Billy Ray, Bill’s son and namesake. He comes across as a young Norman, cracking wise and teasing like the elder Thayer, which probably explains why the two characters seem to get along so well.

Joe Dutson gives a promising first performance as Charlie, the mailman, who seems to be carrying a torch for Chelsea and takes losing her to Bill with good humor and an unusual laugh.

“On Golden Pond” is a wonderful play about family with all of the stress and complications that can be expected. It’s also a story of forgiveness and how it is possible to mend strained relationships after many years and even later in life, whether on the threshold of middle age or at the extreme end of it.

Macbeth and Breaking Bad

I am proud to say that I have some brilliant nieces and nephews. I'd like to introduce you to my niece, Krystal Darling. Yes, that's her real last name. She is my sister Adele's (yes, I have a sister named Adele) older daughter.

Krystal has excellent taste in music, literature, film and television and she is an absolute joy to talk to on any and all of those subjects.

This yeae, she wrote a fascinating essay for her AP Literature class comparing Shakespeare's "Macbeth" with AMC's excellent series "Breaking Bad" and she has agreed to allow me to share it with you right here in "Puente's Reading Room."

Enjoy

Krystal Darling

Mrs. Silkwood

AP Literature

1 March 2012

“Something Wicked This Way Comes.”

After receiving a compelling prophecy, an otherwise noble man is propelled into corruption by his ambition to achieve his goals. He descends further and further into a moral darkness as his new found power takes control of every aspect of life. This is a well known tale; the tragedy of Macbeth. However, the same description can be applied to another story; Breaking Bad. Though there are some discrepancies among their specific details, overall they are strikingly similar. In fact, the themes, character flaws, and motifs of Shakespeare’s Macbeth are omnipotent throughout AMC’s Breaking Bad. 

The tragedy of Macbeth is based upon greed, corruption, and the lust for power. The protagonist is tempted to commit evil deeds by a prophecy, and with the help of his wife he attempts to clear his path to royalty. He becomes more and more corrupted by his power until it eventually leads to his downfall. Macbeth is a well known piece of classic literature which influences and inspires many modern works including literature, film, and television. 

Breaking Bad is a television drama which revolves around fear, courage, and the corruption of the human soul. When Walter White is diagnosed with terminal cancer, he turns to drastic measures in order to provide for his family. He begins manufacturing methamphetamines for quick cash. As he achieves his financial goals, he is lured into darkness by a newfound power that is completely unknown to him. His motives and ideas slowly become uncharacteristic of his former self as he travels further on his moral journey.

Just as Macbeth is stirred to action by a prophecy, Walter is set into motion by his cancer diagnosis. In an article in the New York Times, Segal writes “With the death penalty of his diagnosis looming, Walt wakes from the slumber of an unfulfilling life, evolving from feckless drudge to reluctant part-time criminal, then gradually to something worse.” Without this prophecy, the idea of turning to crime must have seemed preposterous and farfetched to both of these men. However, once the idea was planted, it grew quickly and consumed their lives. Eventually it also began affecting those emotionally close to them. 

The role of Walter’s former student and counterpart Jesse is, in many ways, similar to the role of Lady Macbeth. Both she and Jesse do not at first think that the protagonist is capable of the deed. Lady Macbeth states that her husband’s nature is “Too full o’the milk of human kindness to catch the nearest way (33). She knows he isn’t the type to commit sin, especially against one who does not deserve it in the slightest. Similarly, when Jesse hears of Walter’s plan, he is disbelieving, saying “All the sudden…at age fifty you’re going to break bad (“Pilot”)?”

Another similarity between these two secondary characters surfaces when the first murder is committed. As Macbeth struggles with his conscience, Lady Macbeth chastises him and criticizes his manhood, disgusted by his indecisiveness. She insults him, saying “When you durst do it, then you were a man;…(43).”  Jesse is also irked when Walter is reluctant to go through with the act, saying “I did my part, now you do yours (…and the Bag’s in the River).”

As well as further goading the protagonist into action, both Jesse and Lady Macbeth do the “dirty work” of the first murder. Lady Macbeth smears Duncan’s sleeping guards with his blood and frames them for his murder, as Macbeth himself is too shaken. In Breaking Bad, Jesse is given the job of disposing of the body. The secondary characters both sustain mental damage from their role in these crimes. They are also affected by the protagonist’s other decisions.

Blood is always present and playing a role in Macbeth, just as methamphetamines are in Breaking Bad. Macbeth’s decision to shed blood is very similar to Walters’s decision to start cooking methamphetamines. Their decisions regarding these subjects lead them into danger and cause them to become entangled in a web of lies. In addition, with both meth and blood the secondary character is eventually more emotionally and physically affected than the main character. 

Macbeth’s first soliloquy in Act Two is strikingly similar to the scene preceding Walter’s first deliberate murder. Both characters wrestle with their morals, arguing with themselves.  Walter goes as far as to make a pros and cons list about the murder. The idea of committing such a heinous deed warps logic in their minds, foreshadowing the upcoming paranoia. Macbeth sees an imaginary dagger, and it seems to come as a horrifying and fascinating revelation. Walter has a similar experience after he decides to let his would be victim go free. As he prepares to do so, he realizes that the man has been hiding a weapon from him all along and plans to kill him. This is devastating news, yet it makes Walter see that murder is now his only option. He is prevented from thinking it over more by discovering that his own life is at risk. In Macbeth’s case, the ringing of the bell interrupts his thought process and sets him into action.  This marks the beginning of a fragile mental state for both men.

The characters in Macbeth are plagued by hallucinations, similar to the way Breaking Bad’s characters are plagued by constant paranoia. As more atrocities are committed, guilt sets in and greatly affects the mental health of the characters. Macbeth is haunted by the “ghost” of Banquo, when in reality it is only a mental manifestation of his blood stained conscience. This warped conscience manifests itself with Walter as he begins to become extremely paranoid. He sees a threat at every turn, convincing himself that every word is a threat and each coincidence, no matter how miniscule, is a sign of something gone horribly wrong.  

This paranoia involves not only the protagonists, but those close to them and involved. Lady Macbeth and Jesse are plagued by guilty hallucinations due to their role in the crimes committed. Lady Macbeth is unable to rid herself of the blood from Duncan’s murder, and she suffers from insomnia and hysterics. As she desperately tries to wash the imaginary blood from her hands, she remarks “Out, damned spot! Out, I say (155)!” Correspondingly, Jesse is unable to break free of the grip of methamphetamines, and under the influence his guilt is magnified until he loses grip with reality altogether. At one point he imagines two large men wielding weapons are walking towards his door to deliver his retribution, when in reality it is only tracting missionaries. 

Both Jesse and Lady Macbeth change drastically as the story progresses and the guilt worsens.  In the beginning, they think nothing of the “evil deeds” and are more than willing to assist actively. However, as time passes, they realize the significance of their sins against humanity. As guilt begins to affect their mental and physical health, the protagonist simultaneously is gaining power and ego. Walter loses his compassion for Jesse and is lost in his own ventures. Macbeth is so engrossed in his own problems that he doesn’t even spare a moment to grieve when his wife commits suicide. “She should have died hereafter; there would have been time for such a word (171).” 

As the main characters in both stories continue in their downward spiral, their initial morals all but disappear. Their original goals are swept away in the lust for power and status. Though in the beginning the two men were meek and seemingly spineless, the passing of time and the atrocities they have committed have hardened their hearts. 

As Birnam wood seems to march towards Dunsinane, Macbeth says “I have almost forgotten the taste of fears. The time has been, my senses would have cooled to hear a night shriek, and my fell of hair would at dismal treatise rouse and stir as life were in’t. I have supped full with horrors. Direness, familiar to my slaughterous thoughts, cannot once start me (171).”

Walter starts out as a weak and frightened individual, and as he changes his actions his constitution changes as well. He explains to his brother; “I have spent my whole life scared. Frightened of things that could happen, might happen, might not happen. Fifty years I spent like that. Finding myself awake at three in the morning (“Better Call Saul”).”  Much later in the story, after Walter’s wife shows concern for his safety, he angrily retorts; “Who are you talking to right now? Who is it you think you see?...I am not in danger, I am the danger. A guy opens his door and gets shot and you think that of me? No. I am the one who knocks (“Cornered”).” Walter seems insulted by his wife’s assumption. She doesn’t see the complete mental change he has gone through, though it seems apparent to him. 

At one point, Walter has the opportunity to reform his ways and go back to his old life. He almost does this, yet his small taste of power has addicted him. He quickly reverts back to his old ways. When he notices some other men are planning to cook meth, he strides up to them without fear and menacingly warns “Stay out of my territory (“Over”).” Andrew Romano states in a newspaper article, “Walt started out a deeply sympathetic figure and then gradually morphed, over three seasons of escalating immorality, into an almost unrecognizable creep. In the beginning, he was cooking meth only so his family wouldn't be destitute when he died. Now you're not so sure.”

In both stories, the murders that may have seemed almost necessary in the beginning quickly become excessive. One slaughter leads to another, forming a trail of blood. Macbeth kills successor after successor until he is in line for king and feels he is unchallenged. Walter decides he must get rid of anyone whom he feels threatens him, his operation, or his family. These killings go from painful to casual. As time goes on the murders are presented as less and less dramatic. After the murder of Duncan in Macbeth, the subsequent murders are not nearly as described or mentally debated. Similarly, as more murders are committed in Breaking Bad, Walter ceases to show any hesitation or remorse for lost life.  These men’s regards to morals go completely down the drain. They even go as far as to lose sympathy for children. Without second thought, Macbeth sends murderers to kill Macduff’s wife and children in their own home. Walter poisons and nearly kills a young child important to Jesse in order to manipulate Jesse into killing a man.  

One major tool that both Walter White and Macbeth use is Justification. Macbeth tells the murderers that the assassination is for the best, and that Banquo is the cause of all their problems. “Know Banquo was your enemy. So is he mine…(85.)” Walter uses the same persuasion to get Jesse to help him kill Gus. “Who do you know who’s allowed children to be murdered? Gus (“End Times”).”  Walter also justifies his actions by saying that it will save himself and his family. He tells Jesse that the murder of Gus is justified, saying “He had to go (“Face Off”).” 

The changes in character in both Breaking Bad and Macbeth were due to conscious decisions. “Breaking Bad is not a situation in which the characters' morality is static or contradictory or colored by the time frame; instead, it suggests that morality is continually a personal choice. The difference between White in the middle of Season one and White in the debut of Season four is not the product of his era or his upbringing or his social environment. It's a product of his own consciousness. He changed himself. At some point, he decided to become bad, and that's what matters.”(Grantland) Macbeth also made a choice to become an immoral man, as he knew with certainty that his actions were wrong.  These men ignored their conscience and forced themselves into a life of darkness. As they progressed further, dark deeds became easier and conscience slowly faded away.

As conscience was pushed into the far regions of the mind, it was replaced by arrogance. Walter White and Macbeth each developed a mindset in which they considered themselves invincible.  In Walter’s case, his ability to produce a high quality product convinces him that he will not be killed. This confidence leads him to make poor decisions that put his and Jessie’s lives in danger. “If there’s a larger lesson to ‘Breaking Bad, it’s that actions have consequences,” says Vince Gilligan, the show’s creator. In Macbeth, the protagonist is drunk with confidence after hearing prophecies that make it seem as though he can’t be killed.  He consequently is ill-prepared for the attack on his castle. This of course leads to Macbeth’s defeat.

Though there are many similarities between Breaking Bad and Macbeth, there are also notable differences. The obvious differences are within the minor details. Looking beyond these minor details, several major differences are apparent. First, Walter’s motive seems far more benevolent than Macbeth’s in the beginning, and he makes a more dramatic transformation over the course of the story.  In contrast, the reader never really sympathized with Macbeth’s ambition to be king, and had little knowledge of him other than the shallow information given through the words of other characters. Breaking Bad also has no allusion to the supernatural, and in Macbeth the supernatural is a major theme. Another element missing is the conclusion; Breaking Bad has another season yet to be aired, while Macbeth’s conclusion is well known. Even after considering these differences, the two stories continue to appear remarkably similar.

The themes, character flaws, and characteristics of Shakespeare’s Macbeth occur frequently throughout AMC’s Breaking Bad. Though these stories take place in different settings, follow different plots, and belong to different genres, they have much in common. One idea is made very clear. The lust for power, when presented in the right circumstances, can corrupt even the most noble of men. 

Works Cited

“…And the Bag’s in the River” Breaking Bad. AMC. New York. (Feb 10, 2008). Television.

“Better Call Saul” 

“Cornered” Breaking Bad. AMC. New York. (Aug 21, 2011). Television.

“End Times” Breaking Bad. AMC. New York. (Oct. 2, 2011). Television.

“Face Off” Breaking Bad. AMC. New York. (Oct 9, 2011). Television.

Klosterman, Chuck. “Bad Decisions” Grantland. n.p, 12 July, 2011. Web. 3 February 2012

“Over” Breaking Bad. AMC. New York. (May 10, 2009). Television.

“Pilot” Breaking Bad. AMC. New York. (Jan 20, 2008). Television

Romano, Andrew. “The most dangerous show on television.” Newsweek 158.1/2(2011):58-63. 

Academic Search Premier. Web. 10 Feb. 2012

Segal, David. “The Dark Art of Breaking Bad.”  The New York Times. n.p, 6 July 2011. Web. 2 

February 2012. 

Shakespeare, William. “Macbeth.” Macbeth and Related Readings. Ed. Unknown.  Evanston:     

           McDougal Littell, 1997. 3-185. Print.

Watts, James D. Jr. “The couple that slays together…” Tulsa World (OK, 05 Sept. 2010:  

Newspaper source plus. Web. 10 Feb 2012

Yes, another 9/11 retrospective... but related to filmmaking

Cross-posted in Puente's Perspective

Almost ten years ago, I remember some people in the media talking about the September 11 attacks and speaking negatively about how some screenwriter in Hollywood was going to try and cash in on the spectacle of that tragedy and write a screenplay about it.

I don't think this observation was a fair one. Narrative films have been structured around traumatic historical events ever since the invention of the medium. Just as every other art form has been used to help individuals and entire societies process the grief associated with such events.

As I look back over the last decade, I can think of a number of films that have been produced related to 9/11 (some more directly than others) that were made–not with an eye toward exploitation–but as genuine artistic endeavors that have served to help us put that horrible day into perspective. Some did so by recreating the events of that day as in "United 93," and "World Trade Center." Others tried to help us understand the myriad factors that lead to the event and the cultural thinking behind it and our reponse–or failure to respond–like "Fahrenheit 9/11," and "Where in the World is Osama Bin Laden?"

Of the September 11 documentaries that were made that used footage and audio that was recorded on that day as well as personal stories related by the people who were there, I was moved the most by two films in particular: "9/11"–which was broadcast by CBS on the night before the 6 month anniversary of the tragedy–and "Rebirth" which follows the lives of several people who were directly affected by the events at the World Trade Center in a series of interviews conducted over several years following the event and documenting their personal growth and stories as they came to terms with their losses.

But the 9/11 themed films that have affected me the most have been those that have told fictional stories set within the context of 9/11–either with the events occurring concurrently with the story or showing the way that they affected the ongoing lives of the characters.

The first of these that I saw was, of all things, a Disney Channel Movie starring Hayden Panattiere and Bill Pullman called "Tiger Cruise." At first I avoided watching it. Not because of the 9/11 references–which I wasn't even aware of at the time–but because I'm a Navy veteran and I wasn't interested in watching what I thought could have been a Disney sponsored recruitment ad. Eventually, I relented though and I was glad I did. That's when I learned about the 9/11 references and I really liked how they were made, from the perspective of both active-duty military and their families.

"Reign Over Me"–a rare and welcome example of an Adam Sandler flick that is nothing like your standard Adam Sandler flick–tells the story of a widower who lost his family when they were flying aboard one of the highjacked airliners. An incredible representation of the tragedy affecting an individual and how his friends are in turn affected by him.

In Tamara Jenkins' film "The Savages" with Philip Seymour Hoffman and Laura Linney, a direct 9/11 reference did not come until well into the film as the story is primarily about two adult siblings dealing with the special needs of their elderly father but I remember being hooked by the story with a reference to the now defunct Homeland Security Advisory System when Linney's character calls Hoffman's on the phone in the middle of an emotional crisis. His response is to ask her to gauge the severity of her crisis using the color-codes associated with the terror alert system. This was an excellent example of how a decidedly political response to earth shattering events can influence a culture.

The sociopolitical repercussions of 9/11 also inspired some interesting storytelling set in Iraq and Afghanistan, not just during our military engagements there–as depicted in films like "Green Zone" and "The Hurt Locker"–but stories that took place in those countries many years prior to 9/11 such as "Charlie Wilson's War." I wonder if a film like "The Kite Runner" would ever have been made were it not for U.S. military involvement in Afghanistan. Would westerners have ever been aware, let alone cared, about the struggles faced by the Afghan people when the two major powers vying for control of the country were two opposite authoritarian extremes: atheistic communists and the religiously fanatical Taliban (who had an ostensibly religious objection to–of all things–kite flying).

The effects of U.S. military action in response to 9/11 on the home front was also explored. "The Lucky Ones" was a poignant look at military culture and the effects war has on comrades in arms and their families. The effects of PTSD on returning soldiers was dramatized in the fact-based film "In the Valley of Elah" starring Tommy Lee Jones, Charlize Theron, Susan Sarandon and a number of actual Iraq War veterans. The conflicted emotions of a Marine who took advantage of the opportunity not to fight and remain stationed safely in the States with his family was addressed in "Taking Chance" with Kevin Bacon, also based on a true story.

One of the most intense fictional films in any of these genres that I enjoyed very much is "Buried" with Ryan Reynolds. The story of an American contractor working in Iraq who is kidnapped for ransom. It's hard to believe that one can be so affected by a film that keeps it's audience in a box with the main character for 94 minutes without so much as a flashback to stretch one's legs. The phone call he receives from his employers while trapped in that shallow grave is especially aggravating to brilliant dramatic effect. This is the closest that any of these films has come to being a suspense story but its subject matter is addressed in a way that is not at all inappropriate or disrespectful.

There were less effective stories told that tried to address these same events and issues. "Stop Loss" and "Remember Me" come to mind. "Day Zero" addressed the fears of what could happen in a world where seemingly endless war leads to a reinstatement of conscripted service in the U.S. military.

It will be interesting to see what kinds of stories related to all of these subjects will be told in the second decade following 9/11. I'm sure a search through the Internet Movie Database will show several in various stages of production.

One exercise that I undertook in researching this article utilized an interesting feature of the IMDb. The sort of film and actor-related information that can be filtered through the use of specific dates can be enlightening. One can learn what films premiered and where. I learned that I share a birthday with a number of different actors–Jerry O'Connell and I are exactly the same age; born on the same day in the same year. One can also find out the dates on which specific actors died. While most might look up a famous name like Cary Grant or Ingrid Bergman to learn when and where they passed away; another feature on the IMDb is the ability to input a specific date and find out who–among those individuals listen in the IMDb–was born and who died on that day.

I typed in September 11, 2001.

The attacks happened on the birthdays of several well known actors and performing artists including Virginia Madsen, Harry Connick Jr., Moby and Roxann Dawson–an actor and director well known in the Star Trek franchise. Speaking of Star Trek, a person by the name of Jeffrey Coombs was onboard American Airlines Flight 11 which crashed into the World Trade Center. Many people thought that it was Jeffrey Combs (with only one "o"), another Star Trek veteran, who had died. Mr. Combs addressed the public through the official Star Trek web site to clarify that he had not died and to share his feelings surrounding the event.

Of course, I had to see if anyone on the IMDb had died on September 11, 2001. As of this writing, 31 individuals are listed in the IMDb as having died that day. 27 of those names are listed as having died in New York, New York; Shanksville, Pennsylvania or Arlington, Virginia. Most of those have the September 11 attacks listed in their bios or are directly attributed as their cause of death–described as "Homicide," "Victim of" or "Perished in."

One can only infer from the date and locations whether or not the others who died on that day were victims of the attacks.

A dozen or so of the names listed were placed on the IMDb posthumously, credited as appearing in documentaries in "archive footage"–most likely home movies–or simply had their names included in a dedication in the closing credits. These individuals were not in the film or television industries though one is said to have appeared as an audience member on "The Tonight Show." Another as a reality show contestant.

One individual who died was a regular guest on "Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher." Maher left one of his panel chairs empty for a week in honor of this person.

Of the victims who were involved in the film industry, there was a composer by the name of Gerard 'Rod' Coppola. I read nothing to indicate whether or not he was related to Francis Ford Coppola. A staff writer for "Cheers," "Wings" and "Frasier" died with his wife on one of the hijacked aircraft. A camera operator who is listed as having died on 9/11/01 also has a credit for a 2003 production–perhaps that project was shelved for a couple of years.

A few names stood out to me. Chuck Margiotta was once a stunt man. It makes a certain sense that someone in that line of work might transition from film stunts to being a firefighter.

Charles McCrann was a senior vice-president of a financial-services conglomerate with offices at the World Trade Center. He was also a film buff who wrote, produced, directed, edited and acted in a horror movie called "Bloodeaters."

Of the people with film industry credits who died on September 11, very few of them were well known in the film industry, or even within their specific fields. Indeed, many of them had no more than one or two credits on their IMDb profiles. They had participated in maybe a short, a television show or independent feature in minor roles either in front of or behind the camera and then moved on with their lives. Lives that eventually lead to jobs at the World Trade Center, the Pentagon or just as passengers on those ill-fated flights.

I couldn't help but wonder as I read those names and their modest resumes if these people every talked about their experiences on those film sets. Did a conversation about favorite films start up in the break room or at lunch that prompted them to say, "Yeah, I worked on a movie once." What was the reaction of their coworkers to these revelations? Were they fascinated? Did they respond with questions like, "Did you meet anyone famous?" How long did that little spark of recognition and perhaps pride last before they had to get back to their jobs? If they had time to reflect on their lives before they died, did any of their thoughts turn to their time on a film set? Did they once consider choosing a career in that industry before moving on to something they might have thought would be a little more financially secure? A little more safe?

"Rebirth" Documentary Film by Jim Whitaker

My favorite films are the ones that leave you in tears and emotionally exhausted as you walk out of the theater. I was crying before the documentary film "Rebirth" had even gotten to the opening title card. The friend who invited me to the screening was kind enough to hand me a tissue and after the film was over, we stood together in the lobby with tears in our eyes talking about the people and moments that resonated most with us.

I was blown away by the scope of the film. The individuals portrayed were survivors of 9/11. They were either at the World Trade Center or lost family members or loved ones there. And they agreed to do not just one interview about their experiences up to and beyond that tragedy, but several interviews for years following 9/11. I have to give major kudos to the producers for the logistics involved in making a film over such a long period of time.

The person who I related to the most also made one of the more memorable transformations throughout the film.

Nick was just a teenager in 2001 when he lost his mother. In every interview he sported a new look. A clean-shaven kid at first, then a young man with a little patch of whiskers on his chin in the next. He grows up before our eyes and we see this college graduate wearing glasses and in the end, a bearded man with wisdom beyond his years.

Nick's story resonated with me because I lost my mother. Not to something as tragic as a terrorist attack but to something preventable: heart disease and diabetes.

But it was also during the months following 9/11 that I had experienced a falling-out with Mom and it was a documentary film--the Naudet brothers' "9/11"--that prompted me to reach out to her. It took us a while to get through our difficulties but we did get through them.

In 2004, a friend approached me about making a short film in time for Christmas. We decided to produce a script that I had written a number of years ago which was based on a short story that my Mom had written. The project was pretty much kept secret from the rest of the family--with the exception of my sister if memory serves. We finished it in time to get it out to the whole family by Christmas. Mom called me to thank me for making the film and she said that it was the best Christmas present she had ever received.

That would be the last thing she ever said to me. Not long after that, she had a heart attack. After nearly a month in the hospital, she passed away.

"Rebirth" reminded me of why I love filmmaking as an art form. It brings people together in its production and its exhibition. Sitting in that theater tonight, I felt a reverence that someone might only associate with a religious congregation. But the experience was a spiritual one. It was a group of human beings coming together to witness the stories of other human beings in the aftermath of an all-too-human tragedy.

I've often said--only half in jest and in reference to my own anxiety issues--that I hate crowds but I love an audience. But there's no audience I love more than one that comes together to experience a great film and isn't afraid to be moved by it and to let those emotions show in front of others, knowing that they are all experiencing the same feelings.

I highly recommend watching this film but don't do so alone. Watch it the way I did: with a good friend who you can cry with and hold onto as you process the emotions it will inevitably bring up.

"Six Feet Under"

I recently had the opportunity to watch the final few seasons of the HBO series "Six Feet Under." I had followed the show when it first premiered in 2001 but lost track of it when my finances wouldn't allow me to keep subscribing to HBO.

It is my most favorite television series of all time. There are several that I have enjoyed over the years, some more than others, but I think I have to put Alan Ball's creation at the top of my list.

As I watched the series finale, I kept thinking to myself, "This is what life is like: complicated and uncertain. And that's okay." Especially if we can find meaning and purpose in the connections we make with the people in our lives.

The very premise of the show both fascinated and disturbed me. A family that runs a funeral home. My first memory of death was the funeral of my maternal grandmother. A Spanish, Catholic affair with all of the attendant histrionics. I remember my mother crying and becoming hysterical and my sister and I couldn't help but get caught up in that emotion. We wanted to go to our mother, but our older brother Patrick wouldn't let go of us. From that moment until my teens, I didn't want to even think about death. I felt traumatized. I wouldn't attend another funeral until the death of my own mother in 2005*--coincidentally, the same year that "Six Feet Under" ended it's run.

I love "Six Feet Under" because of the way it made me feel. Frank Capra is quoted as saying, "I made mistakes in drama. I thought drama was when actors cried. But drama is when the audience cries." "Six Feet Under" has put me in tears more often than any other drama on television and I'm grateful for that. Besides the very moving series finale, the most powerful moment of the series that stands out in my mind as I write this is when Nate Fisher (Peter Krause) buries his late wife in the desert and the reaction he has when he sees her remains falling from the body bag.

Seeing Ruth Fisher (Frances Conroy) evolve from conventional housewife to an independent, single woman willing to explore herself and her humanity gave me a greater appreciation for the lives of parents as perceived by their children. No one likes to think of their parents as having been young, or having dreams, desires or regrets but in the end, we are all someone's children, living our lives and trying to figure them out along the way. The loving relationship between David and Keith (Michael C. Hall and Matthew St. Patrick) helped to reshape my opinion about the capacity that human beings have to love each other. Claire Fisher (Lauren Ambrose) was the character I found myself rooting for the most. This beautiful young woman, perfectly capturing the awkwardness of adolescence and uncertainty of a budding young artist. The complicated relationship between between Brenda and Billy (Rachel Griffiths and Jeremy Sisto) served as an interesting balance between the extremes of the two main families of the series, to paraphrase Brenda, the Chenowiths with their lack of boundaries and the Fishers with nothing but boundaries.

There's little more that I can say about the series that hasn't probably already been said in the years since it ended, so I'll just repeat my earlier statement: It is my most favorite television series of all time. I'd feel really blessed to discover another series that stirs up such emotions in me again.

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*My sister insists that I did, in fact, attend another funeral prior to that. For a family friend at Church. If this is true, then I have completely blocked it out.

Mr. Show Indomitable Spirit

"Mr. Show" is one of my favorite sketch comedy programs. I'm so glad you can watch it on IFC! :-)

The Voice

So, I watched "The Voice" today. Well, I watched parts of it. The important parts. I watched it "On Demand" and fast forwarded through most of the reality TV crap--the sappy interviews and whatnot--and just got right down to the performances.

As a concept, I like "The Voice." Indeed, it's the only reality/singing-competition show I've bothered to watch. Unfortunately, in the end, it's still just another reality show. I might pop in to watch another episode or two but I can't bring myself to say that I'm a "fan" of the show.